'Twas The Eve Before Christmas

'Twas the eve before Christmas, and all through Utopolis,

People were sleeping; nearly the whole populace.

I only say "nearly", for elsewhere in the city

Five villains were crouched in an alleyway gritty.

"Tomorrow," one whispered. "This city shall cower

At the pure evil-ocity that is Miss Sunflower!"

The others' lips tightened, their chuckles to stifle.

A poised Miss Sunflower cocked her head like a rifle.

Her eyes squinted and glared as she gazed through the dark,

'Til they stood transfixed on Utopolis Park.

But for you to grasp Sunflower's evil plan,

There's one little thing that you must understand.

Each Christmas the park gets all decked out in lights,

'Cuz Utopolis Park is the annual site

For the Utopolis City Holiday Festival!

Of Utopolis shindigs, this one is the best of all.

Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Winter Solstice too...

Whichever's your thing, there is something for you.

You might catch a show with the Umoja Dancers,

See the petting zoo's reindeer (named "Blitzen" and "Prancer"),

Participate in the Great Big Dreidel Spin-Off,

Or guzzle down eggnog until you shout "Enough!"

But amidst all the fun and amongst all the thrill,

The Holiday Festival shows some good will.

Hanukkah, Kwanzaa candles at each side

Of a great Christmas tree shine with holiday pride

To illuminate the park's grand Center Square...

For this bright, shiny place is the very spot where

People give food, toy, or money donations

To hospitals, shelters, and organizations.

And tomorrow is Christmas, the last day of the Fest,

Where volunteers from all over are dressed

As Santas and elves to deliver the gifts.

"This kindess," mused Sunflower, "It just gets me miffed!"

Her eyes glowed with hatred, like burning twin flames,

As she summoned her henchmen and called them by name.

"On Gusto! On Yin! Yang! On Sister Sledgehammer!

We've mischief to wreak 'fore we're back in the slammer!

Let's wreck this place!" said the Sunflower so mean.

"We'll pull the worst holiday caper they've seen!"

"Trying to steal Christmas?" Gusto said, unamused.

"At the risk of getting punished and abused,

Didn't some green fellow try this scheme before?"

"Of course, twit! But we've got two holidays more!

Christmas! Hanukkah! Kwanzaa!" Sunflower did say.

"We'll ruin all three! Go for the triple play!"

She laughed with great malice, "Now let's wreck the halls!

Gusto! Blow off all the tree's ornament balls!

Yin! Break the menorah and kinara lights!

Yang! Tear down all the garland in sight!

Sister Sledgehammer! Give the presents a smash!

While I rob the charities of all their cash!"

They said not a word, but went straight to their work

As Sunflower laughed like a woman berserk.

But before they could act, a loud voice filled the air;

It courageously bellowed out, "Villains beware!"

Then what to ten villainous eyes should appear,

But Belt Boy and his friends, decked in holiday gear!

Belt Boy's costume was colored in holiday hues;

His belt, gloves and goggles, were green now, not blue.

And while this crusader was normally caped,

Tonight, 'round his shoulders, a red scarf was draped.

He said with a smile, each hand in a fist,

"Looks like you five are topping my naughty list!"

Titanium Maiden, our fair amazon,

Now wore an elf costume, her tank and shorts gone.

She had jingle bells on her shoes and short skirt

(But nobody laughed, lest they ask to be hurt).

Her biceps and calves wore candy cane stripes,

But were still strong as ever; Gusto peeped out a "Yipes!"

And third, with his arm-blaster ready and poised,

Was Cannon, who was ready to make some noise.

He was dressed all in armor, from his head to his shoe,

But not green and purple, but silver and blue!

In Hanukkah colors, this hero was clad.

"Not these guys again!" Yin then moaned. "This is bad."

"You scumbags have really sunk to a new low!"

Said T.M. with rage that could melt winter snow.

Cannon then said, with great determination,

"No one messes with our holiday celebration!

On Christmas, the Festival really behooves me;

It gives me somewhere to go besides the movies!"

"You don't have to do this," said Belt Boy, "Now go...

'Fore you devils make angels face-down in the snow!"

"Attack them!" shrieked Sunflower, looking quite steamed.

As the bad guys charged, Belt Boy yelled, "Let's do it, team!"

Several hands shot out from the belt 'round Belt Boy's waist,

Which then began scooping up snow with much haste.

Snowballs pelted the baddies in a furious flurry

That blinded them; seeing this, Cannon did hurry.

He ran towards the crooks as he charged up his blaster.

Cannon was fast, but Gusto acted faster;

With his wind-based powers, he conjured a blizzard

That left our heroes on their backs like dead lizards.

Seeing the three good guys flat on the ground,

Sledgehammer approached, mallet ready to pound.

But before she could perform "The Skullcracker Suite",

Titanium Maiden got back on her feet

And picked up a six-foot plastic candy cane.

"Okay," she said, "now I'm ready to bring the pain!"

Hammer against candy, the girls' weapons did clash,

But the stronger was clearly the Maiden from C.R.A.S.H.

With Sledgehammer defeated, Yin and Yang were up next,

And the two had a plan to leave Belt Boy quite vexed.

He was still getting up; Yin and Yang saw their chance.

After grabbing some garland and exchanging a glance,

The two quickly wrapped up Belt Boy in the holly!

Things seemed bleak for Belt Boy, but he still remained jolly.

Each twin held onto the garland quite tight,

So Belt Boy jumped straight up with all of his might,

Pulling the pair together until they collided!

Belt Boy laughed, "Okay now who else wasn't invited

To our Holiday Festival?" Now that Yang and Yin

Had both been knocked out, Gusto stepped right back in.

Wiping some snow from his visor and eyes,

Cannon said to his friends, "I've got this dork, guys!"

After Gusto's blizzard, Cannon sought retribution.

He thought, "He's a problem... but I'm the solution!"

Once again, Gusto made a great icy wind blow,

But now Cannon expected this torrent of snow

And picked up a dec'rative igloo to shield

Him as he waited for Gusto's wind to yield.

Taking the first opening, he fired a blast;

The wind vanished like the Ghost of Christmas Past.

"Four down, one to go!" said Belt Boy. "But where

Is Miss Sunflower?" T.M. shouted "There!"

While all of her lackeys had charged forth to attack,

Sunflower, unseen, went and filled up a sack

With all of the charities' toys, food, and cash!

Belt Boy yelled, "You can't escape we heroes of C.R.A.S.H.!"

Caught in the act, Sunflower raised her hand,

Which glowed like a star o'er this wintry land.

Toward Belt Boy she fired a great solar ray,

But Belt Boy just said, "This'll turn out okay."

His belt made a forcefield to deflect her shot.

Belt Boy taunted, "Hey, Sunny! That the best you've got?"

She fired again, Belt Boy dodged it with ease.

Belt Boy mocked again, "Hmm, did I just feel a breeze?"

She fired a third blast, he quickly sidestepped.

Then into the air Belt Boy mightily lept

And delivered a blow to Miss Sunflower's jaw!

She staggered backward, then stared at him in awe.

But her awe turned to rage; she countered with a kick.

Belt Boy then caught her foot (Man, that guy's moves are slick!),

And flipped her onto her now-sore lower back!

"She's losing her cool... she's starting to crack!"

Thought Belt Boy, a strategy clear in his mind.

He was ready to kick some Sunflower behind!

Boxing gloves popped out from his belt with a Sproing!

Sunflower just growled, "Now you're getting annoying!"

A battle raged on, one of sunbeams and punches.

"This is taking too long, we should've brought lunches,"

Cannon said to T.M., but she said to him, "Shush!"

In the snow, she thought she had heard footsteps brush.

She whirled around; Gusto, Sledge, and Yin and Yang

Had all recovered! Now to action, they sprang!

The four vile villains rushed forth in a charge

Toward small, spindly Cannon and a lady large.

But T.M. acted fast and rolled up a snowball

Large enough to block all four front doors at the mall!

She gave it a hurl, and then it went rolling...

KERSPLAT! T.M. invented Supervillain Bowling!

Trapped in the snowball, the four couldn't get loose,

Meanwhile, Sunflower was running out of juice.

Her sunbeam blasts were now growing weak and dim.

"I can't lose now!" Sunflower cried. "Not to him!"

"It's over," said Belt Boy, "You can't win this fight.

Solar power can't prevail while battling at night!

Your tanks need a recharge; you know you can't win!

So just make it easy and turn yourself in."

Sunflower was weakened, but her brain was fast-acting.

She pointed and yelled, "Hey, look, something distracting!"

As our gullible hero turned his head away,

She attempted to fire one last solar ray,

But her hand fizzled out; she had no power left.

So much for the battle, but there was still the theft!

Grabbing the loot, she took off like a flash,

But it turns out this was a decision quite rash;

For puddles that dotted the escape route she chose

Did what puddles do in the winter; they froze.

She slid 'cross the ice like a big hockey puck

And groggily muttered, "Oh man, just my luck,"

As a streetlight abruptly ended her slip-sliding.

"She's knocked out!" said Belt Boy. "Now all law-abiding

Citizens can rest easy, this holiday night.

And now," he said, "Let's clean up after our fight."

The next morn' the Park, full of hustle and bustle,

No longer had traces of last night's big tussle.

The decorations were put back in their spots,

As were the donations for grown-ups and tots.

But elsewhere in town, far from the celebration,

There was a gift placed before the police station.

Five unconscious villains, tied up with a bow

Sat there on the stoop that was covered in snow.

The tag said "Don't open 'till 2112!

Sincerely, 2 Christmas (and one Hanukkah) Elves."

Back at the park, the Fest' went as planned,

And brought joy to each woman, child, and man.

"All's well that ends well," said T.M. "I'd guess

Of all my Christmasses, this one was the best!"

"For sure," said Belt Boy. "We saved Christmas Day

Hanukkah and Kwanzaa. We did great, I'd say!"

Titanium Maiden giggled, "Yes, that's true,

But I truly loved getting to spend time with you!"

"Aw, shucks," said Belt Boy, beginning to blush.

"I'm leaving," gagged Cannon, "I can't stand this mush.

You two kiss and make out as much as you please...

But if you need me, I'll be getting Chinese!"

And so ends our tale of our great heroes three.

Just remember your holiday, whatever it be,

Regardless of religion, faith, belief, or reason,

May it be filled with joy on this holiday season!

Happy Holidays from The Heroes of C.R.A.S.H.!